Nonviolent Communication and Conflict Management

Disagreement---- 

My ex-husband and I had a recent disagreement concerning his and our daughter relationship.  My ex-husband do not seem to understand that if you want someone to treat you a certain way that you have to be mindful of how you treat that individual.  The disagreement came about because my ex-husband stated that our daughter do not include him in some of the decision she makes.  My daughter states that she used to call him and he would never return her call so she stopped calling.  Her father states that he is busy and she should keep calling until she reaches him.  I told him he could very well return her phone calls.  I have tried to get him to understand that she is twenty-eight years old and she do not feel she has to chase him down.  He states that he is the father and she should.  He gets angry and blames me because I do not agree with what he is saying.  My first strategies for resolving this agreement was I suggested to him to see it from her perspective.  Often times a person do not realize what they are doing wrong until they are placed in the other person’s position.  The second strategy I suggested to both of them is that they need to sit down and discuss calmly the issues that they are having with each other.  I believe that cooperative strategies would be beneficial in this case because it “benefit the relationship, serve mutual rather than individual goals, and strive to produce solutions that benefit both parties” (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2009, p. 212).  I believe that if my ex-husband showed more respect and was more responsive to other people situations and showed compassion then much of the conflict issues he is faced with would be resolved.

My colleague perspective on how to be more of an effective communicator as it relates to conflict resolution skills is that she tries to gather understanding from the other person perspective, be supportive of their perspective, but bring about a greater understanding of what is to be accomplished.

Reference

O’Hair, D. & Wiemann, M. (2009). Real Communication: An Introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s.